Another Week at CBL ugh

Aight guys...so another week here at College Boys Live...oh the joy....lol seriously I do love it here. So, like every week, this week has had its ups and its downs. The Sunday night party was a success. There was quite a good amount of people there.

I went to Parliament House that night and ran into some people that I have not seen in a while and it was really good to see them. The party was alot of fun too. Alcohol was abundant and oh so wonderful! Alcohol has definately started becoming my best friend!!!

Monday was an easy low key kind of day. I went and ate with Brian, Tyler and Aaron. Chilled all day monday...I pretty much chilled all during the week. Nothing major really happened...well...except towards the end of the week.

This week was the normal...fighting with exes...roommate drama. Aaron and Brandon broke up. I am still unsure on the whole Brian and Tyler thing..and Frankie...Frankie is a cute and sweet kid. I am sure he will find someone who makes him happy. Brian is a great guy too and so is Tyler...they all deserve such wonderful people. Aaron is a wonderful guy that always makes me laugh. I will never be able to look at or listen to Beyonce without thinking of Aaron. They all deserve the happiness of the world.

So the most rocking moment of my week. Last night was Halloween..oh and to all of you Catholics...it is All Saints Day today..AND THE SAINTS ARE PLAYING ONE CRUEL JOKE! There is someone I know...someone who means the world to me and then some...

His name is Chase Williams. He is the most beautiful man I have ever known..sorry guys..you are all beautiful..but Chase...was....words cant describe. Here is a pic...



Well, to continue the story...I went to Parliament House last night with the roommates as a Ken Doll...shockingly most people recognized me as Ken Doll..who knew most of the drunk gays here were intelligent?

I then went back to the house after Parliament House and I chilled with the roommates and some of our friends. We all chilled out for a while and then got tired and went to bed. Shortly after my friends left, I was talking to a friend online. I had tried contacting Chase for a couple of weeks and was unsuccessful. I knew Greg talked to him every so often and I asked Greg if he heard from Chase.

Greg then informed me that Chase had hung himself in his back yard. I had to re-read what I was told. It seemed my whole world went black. It was as if the air had been sucked out of the room. I blame myself for his loss...Chase and I used to talk every day. I then got so busy and was unable to talk to him. Something in the back of my mind kept telling me every day to message him..or try and call him. Every time I meant to I would get sidetracked. If I would have called or messaged none of this would have happened. Chase would still be alive and I would not feel like I was mising a huge portion of my heart.

Chase was only 26 years old...26 FUCKING YEARS OLD!!!! AND HE DID SOMETHING SO STUPID...HE ABANDONED THE ONES WHO LOVED HIM THE MOST!!! NO HE DID NOT HAVE ANY FAMILY LEFT BUT HE HAD FRIENDS..WHETHER HE KNEW IT OR NOT...HE HAD ME!!!!! AND GREG.......BUT I GUESS WE WERE NOT ENOUGH!!! I WISH I COULD BRING HIM BACK TO LIVE JUST SO I COULD KILL HIM FOR LEAVING ME!!!!!!!!

It kills me knowing I will never see him again. Talk to him again. It pains me to know that I will never be able to look into his eyes again. I have nothing left of him but the picture saved on my computer. The state came in and sold everything to pay for his funeral. No one will really know how wonderful Chase was.....I hope he realizes how much we love him...miss him...and how much I HATE him right now!

im out.