Final Week at College Boys Live :(

Well guys...this is the final Diary entry for me here at College Boys Live. My very last day is going to be Monday December 8. I know I am kind of sad but at the same time it is going to be a good thing. I need to start getting my life on track and in order. I have very big plans for my future and it is time I started focusing on those plans.

I arrived back to Florida on Monday night after a week in Tennessee. I was so glad to be home and to see Josh. The only bad thing was I was starting to get sick. I think my aunt gave me whatever funk she had. But oh well. Josh picked me up from the airport and on the way home we grabbed some Wendy's. YUMMMM! haha.

I arrive back at the house and almost instanty Zac had the camera out. Of course the very first thing he asked me was what the big decision was. As many of you know the week before there was alot of rumors going around if I will be staying in Tennessee and not coming back to CBL or if I am going to come back and finish my contract or what not. I had originally wanted to talk to Zac away from everyone else in the house. Just us two but...being put on the spot..I told him there that I was giving him my one week notice.

The week has flown by since then. It seemed like just yesterday when I gave my week notice. What was funny was it seemed that everyone was kind of on edge because the week before there was alot, and I do mean alot, of drama. Alot of unnecessary (sp) drama. There was stuff said by some people that apparently got back to me and other stuff that was claimed to have been said that was not true. But oh well. I dont care.

I know one thing that was on some of the boys' mind here at the house was their trust level with me. Whether they trust me or not I honestly dont give a flying fuck. I understand they dont really know much about my past and to be honest it really isnt anyone's business. There is only one person in my life to where it does matter and they already know everything.

Tuesday and Wednesday was mainly spent me getting better. I was feeling worse by the hour!!! I slept all day Tuesday and the majority of the day Wednesday. The miracle of Nyquil. lol. Josh came over Wednesday and that made me very happy. LOL for some reason he makes me very happy. Extremely happy actually. Yet one thing has always been on my mind. I feel very bad about it actually. Someone had gotten hurt...someone who shouldnt have. But the saying hurt them to save them totally came into play. His name was TC. He is an ex of mine from way back when. I know he really cared about me deeply. And he is a very nice and sweet guy. But, Josh is in my life. I will not leave Josh for anyone. I know TC had huge feelings for me and was having problems moving on. So I had to tell him that I did not want him in my life anymore. To never contact me. I deleted him from myspace, my phone and anything else I could think of.

Oh well. Life goes on. Thursday I slept in the majority of the day. The guys were getting ready for the Britney after party. I had chat that night and then I went to Revolution with Zac, Chaz and Frankie. It was so crowded and so dark it was like I was in a basement. But Kaija and Kitana did such a great job in their show. It was really good. The house was decorated really nice for the party. There was between 40 and 50 people there for the party and it was a huge success. Razor, Kaija and Kitana performed for us and they were really great. LMAO Aaron performed too and it was so funny cuz his wig flew off not once...not twice...but three times...On the third time that his wig flew off, so did his boobs. Of course the boobs flew in my direction and I could not stop laughing. It was the funniest thing ever. But all in all Aaron did a good job too...

Friday was the big cleaning day and I was totally dreading every second of it...but luckily for us we are keeping the decorations up until after the Sunday night party...whew...but it is going to be a bitch to take down...grrr..oh well..hahaha I am totally sad that this is going to be the last of the sunday parties for me as a CBL boy. But I will totally be back for more. I love the boys too much..lol

I can honestly say I am going to miss the boys. I am going to miss the constant picking Zac and I do on eachother..but at least Zac and I can continue our retarded texting!!! lmao...I am going to miss hanging out with Jonathan and chilling with him..and dare I say it...going out in public together..we all know Jonathan and I in public at the same time is not a good thing. I am going to miss Chazzy's craziness....and him looking like a Geisha whenever he wraps himself in his blanket at night..lmao...I am going to miss Brian's crazy noises he makes LMAO...and all of the crazy boys that for some reason fall helplessly inlove with him...ummm..yeah..haha but seriously Brian does make me laugh..regardless of the fact that alot of the drama last week was between him and I...I am looking past it cuz all in all I am glad to say I know Brian. And Aaron...lol...I am definately going to miss Aaron...our own personal Beyonce/Black Britney. Aaron is fun to be around and is just crazy!!! Even though he laughs like a heyena...I still love him!! lol I am so glad to say I know all of these boys. They are a big part of my life and they always will be a big part of my life.

Well that is it guys. My very last entry as a College Boys Live boy. I am going to miss you all so much. So very much. I will still come to some of the parties and keep in contact with the boys. They are all amazing and I am so glad to say I know all of the members and have become friends with most of the members. Take care you all. HUGS